


Jake Jensen: Man of Mystery?

by Tygermama



Category: The Losers/surprise crossover
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-11
Updated: 2010-10-11
Packaged: 2017-10-13 04:44:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/133071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tygermama/pseuds/Tygermama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake Jensen has the weirdest fucking skill set Clay's ever seen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jake Jensen: Man of Mystery?

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to [](http://katemonkey.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**katemonkey**](http://katemonkey.dreamwidth.org/) for her handholding, cheerleading and generally being awesome. The crossover fandom is not explicitly stated in this fic but I'm sure most of you will guess it. There will be more stories in this series.

Clay hadn't been all that surprised when he cracked open the file on his new computer tech and found it stripped down to the bone. Name, birthdate, place of birth, mother's name, blood type, religion: jedi master, and his intake records. Nothing about high school, other than he had a diploma. No mention of a father, although he must have had one. No mention of his sister, even though he talks about her and his niece all the time.

You can't really fault a guy for protecting his family. Especially when you're doing black ops. And according to Jensen, they don't let you out into the field until you can hack and alter your own file without being caught.

But after being around the guy for one mission gone straight to hell, Clay knows Jensen's good. High strung, fidgety, talks _all the fucking time_ , but he's okay to have at your back. And that's all Clay really asks for in team member.

So, he figures he's got the new guy's number and leaves it at that.

But the longer Clay knows Jake Jensen? The more questions he has.

This computer tech has the weirdest fucking skill set Clay's ever seen. The team has a list. They've never written it down anywhere, but sometimes, when Jensen's not around, they try to figure out what the hell is their hacker's deal. So far, alien and mutant are tied for favorite explanations.

Jensen's a geek. A techno-superfreak, by his own admission. Who never gets lost. He always knows what direction North is, without fail. Even while drunk. They've tested this in pretty much every city they've ever gotten drunk in.

During survival training in Alaska, Jensen saved all their asses by building them a honest-to-goddamn _igloo_.

Jensen speaks French, Mandarin, Polish, and he swears softly under his breath in a language Clay's never heard before. And these were languages he knew before the Army taught him Russian and Urdu.

Jensen can dance. On their first leave as a team, he landed the hottest woman in the bar, who had blown _Cougar_ off, with a blistering tango that had everyone blushing just from watching. He showed up back at their motel three days later, exhausted and with a shit-eating grin on his face. Clay had really hated him for that. Roque had taken one look at Clay's face and fell down laughing. Pooch asked for dancing lessons to impress Jolene. Cougar ended up leaving the bar with two sorority sisters and had worked his way through the house to soothe his wounded pride.

Jensen drank tea. Made from bark. But only in the evenings. In the mornings he drank coffee, with whatever chocolate he could get his hands on in it.

Jensen once spent an entire 16 hour drive arguing with Pooch about how the GTO is superior to all other automobiles. Even though he doesn't drive.

Well, correction. Jensen can drive a skidoo. Just not a car. Not enough practice, he said. He can fix them too. Which just left Pooch scratching his head.

Jensen throws off heat like a damn furnace. The cold does not bother him in the least. When Cougar actually bitched about it once, freezing his ass off in a Russian train yard, Jensen just laughed and said he was part polar bear.

Jensen can, when he wants, pull impeccable manners out his ass and charm birds from trees and little old librarians with scary glares into letting them into archives they aren't strictly allowed into. He used this to talk them out of a diplomatic incident once. Seeing Jensen being all formal and polite and diplomatic? Was fucking scary. Even Roque thought so.

Jensen also skillfully sidestepped all questions about his past. The team have even met his sister and niece, but neither of them talk about their youth. At first Clay thought there was someone he needed to track down and beat the living shit out of but Katie had just laughed at him when he asked. All she'd say was they were just trying to get out from under some shadows, really cool shadows but shadows nonetheless.

Clay didn't get it at all. The whole thing was starting to annoy him. Especially since he was pretty sure Jensen knew all about the speculation and was laughing at them behind their backs.

Although, in retrospect, Jensen's disturbing love of poutine should have been a clue.


End file.
